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This week on CrossExamine.com -Kyle West Story-Truth Project - :
Kyle West Story-Truth Project
Why would God use a boy with cerebral palsy? That’s what 7 year-old Kyle West asked. Now 18, God has used Kyle in incredible ways, including on The Truth Project. Despite Kyle’s difficulties, God has a plan and purpose for his life and for yours. Watch Del's bonus teaching looking at the topic now or watch the full episode online now at Cross Examine's Facebook page www.facebook.com/CrossExamine.
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Dr. Del Tackett is the author, architect and teacher for Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, a nationwide initiative designed to bring the Christian worldview to the body of Christ.
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The Million Dollar Parenting Question
Posted on January 13, 2010
Filed Under Marriage & Family, Worldview | 18 Comments
Dr. Juli Slattery called me promptly at 9am. She’s working on a parenting DVD series for Focus on the Family and wanted me to be a part of it. I was delighted with her first question: “When it comes to the very practical issue of raising children, why do you think a biblical worldview is important?” It was a great question and we talked about that for some time, but then she ended with the million-dollar question, as far as I was concerned. It is the critical question that every Christian parent should wrestle with and constantly keep before them as they attempt to raise their children.
It was a natural question, considering the pathway our discussion had taken. Man has a strong tendency to squeeze God out of his life. For the believer, this is still true. We end up compartmentalizing our Christianity into a smaller and smaller slice of life, until it pretty much only applies to the time we spend at church on Sunday mornings. For the extremely faithful, that may also include Sunday and Wednesday evenings, and possibly a morning or evening devotion. But, unfortunately, for much of the Body of Christ today, that is where it ends. Once we leave the “God Zone” of our life, we walk into the rest of the world as if He doesn’t exist or, at least, doesn’t speak or care. This was this conviction that led to the creation of the Truth Project and my burning desire to be a small part of seeing all of that change. The truth of God is not only relevant in every area of life, but it is critical…critical to understand the design of God so that we can walk in accordance with that blueprint; critical so that we can understand why things around us are in a mess or why they are a blessing; critical so that we can be the light and salt in a world that desperately needs the children of God to stand and say either “this is the path of blessing” or “this is the path of tragedy”—in an attractively, winsome way, of course.
If we care about the plight of people, not only eternally, but also caring for them in this world and desiring to see everything glorify the Lord, then we must know how things ought to be or we will never know the right prescription to offer.
So, we were talking about all of this when Juli then asked: “But how does a parent tell truth to their children without coming across as dogmatic or dictatorial?”
The million dollar question.
Why? Because this generation has bought so deeply the notion of tolerance, that they are spring-loaded against absolute truth claims. We are long past a generation of kids that simply say “Yes, maam” when mama says thus and so. They are internally geared to reject the simple declaration of truth.
Now, it’s not as if teenagers haven’t been like this ever since Cain killed Abel! But there is a deeper rejection today of absolute truth. More than ever? I don’t know. But I do know this: I see it all the time…even in some of our very best Christian college students.
That is why, more than ever, it is critical to help our children see the connection between a truth claim and reality.
This requires homework.
This requires effort, preparation.
If your son or daughter is struggling against some truth, you will need to go beyond the easy part of just saying “that’s wrong…this is right” and expect them to say “Yes, sir! Wow! Thank you for the guidance!”
I saw this illustrated in a great way several years ago. I had taken my youngest son to a father-son camp, J. R. Ranch, for some “bonding” time. One of the activities they provided for us was a skeet shoot, where dad and son entered into a competition against the other dads and sons to see who could get the highest total of “skeet hits”. But before we were handed the shotgun, the man running the show (I’ll call him John) gave us a safety lesson. He told us the “truth” about the danger of guns and how to use them properly. I noticed some of the boys fidgeting and looking around. I wondered if they were taking to heart what John was saying. It was important to me, because these teenagers with their pants hanging half-way off of their hips were about to hold a loaded shotgun and I wasn’t going to be very far away.
It was then that this savvy guy made the connection between his “truth” claims and reality. On a tree stump a few feet away sat a watermelon. Someone, I assume John, had painted a smiley face on it, turning the watermelon into what looked like a great big head. He then said something like this: “In case you weren’t really listening to my talk about the danger of this shotgun, let’s assume that watermelon is the face of one of the dads or sons standing around you when you start your shooting. He made a little joke about how the face was smiling because you were such a terrible shot!” He continued to talk about this watermelon such that we began to see it as a real person…part of our group. He even began calling it by a name he had given “him”. We were paying attention now and laughing. He continued: “Maybe you get a little caught up in the excitement of shooting a shotgun for the first time in your life and get a little careless or maybe start fooling around and you happen to swing the gun towards one of them.” He then swung the shotgun toward the watermelon and from the hip, pulled the trigger.
The watermelon exploded.
Green rind and seeds and red watermelon pulp flew everywhere. I think some of it even splattered on a few of us.
There was an initial gasp when it happened, then a deathly silence as we all got the point. The “truth” claims he had been making about the dangers of a loaded shotgun were deeply imprinted upon everyone of us.
I felt much safer after this as each boy took the gun and held it with great respect and fear…which is exactly what he wanted in each of us.
Connecting the dots between the truth claims of God and the reality of life around us is a critical part of teaching…whether you are a parent or a pastor or a school teacher.
Jesus did this constantly…from fig trees to parables. God did it with Jonah…from a storm to a big fish to a worm and a broom tree. They, of course, are the master teachers. We should follow their example!
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18 Responses to “The Million Dollar Parenting Question”
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Dr. Del,
Amen, Amen, Amen!
I’m about to start the TrueU project at my church next Sunday during our education hour. I have been mentally laboring about how to really reach the heart and mind of the kids (young adults) that will be participating.
To clarify, the videos that are a big part of TrueU are very impactful and will be the core message source and reason for the success of the class (Lord willing). However, I simply don’t want to be a neutral force in all of this. I want to be an additive force in every way possible as I love these kids and I don’t want any of them to miss the message!
Dr. Del, you and your TrueU team have given us a great resource to use in this battle. Your prayers that I lead these kids effectively would be greatly appreciated!
Dan…
Powerful word for me this morning…as I teach middle and high schoolers and found that their attitudes toward one another (and me!) were far from the boundaries of the compartment of their faith. I keep pressing on, even in the face of feeling like we have blown it many times. I will strive today to be like Jesus as I gently teach, guide, and make the lessons relevant to life.
The shotgun/melon demonstration is a fantastic illustration of the making a truth claim a reality. I struggle so much with how to do that for my kids though. Guns were easy. The dangers of boiling water was straightforward (when the tea kettle literally fell apart in my hands, scalding two of us… my kids have had a healthy respect for boiling water since witnessing that).
But how do you do that with things that aren’t necessarily physically harmful, and where the damage is not so glaringly obvious?
Sometimes I hate when you make me think…
My oldest couple probably would start to grasp some of it by reading this blog entry. I think maybe I need to force-subscribe my kids to your blog.
Praise God! A must read for all parents!
Not long ago a compelling speaker gave the background of our lesser known founding fathers.His point was well taken. The famous (Thomas J, Ben F., Alexander H.) were better known as forms of humanism. The other, lessor known signers of our constitution had theological degrees and taught scripture in one form or another. From their hearts, after many years walking humbly attuned to God as their Creator, sprang the principles of the constitution and D/ Ind. It was their spiritual fruit. We have been the beneficiaries of their walk with God.
So how does one teach their children a Biblical World view in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation? I think they live it from the inside out. Those men were leaders not because they took a bribe or knew how to manipulate the system but because people trusted them. For the most part their walk was their talk. I think it works the same way with children and parental relationship.
Del:
This brings to mind Ephesians 6:1 -> 4, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (NIV).
THANK YOU. I’m a young mom raising four little boys 6 and under and I’ll be adding this to my bag of parenting tools. Our Truth Project group has one session left before completion and that has had a great impact on how I will raise our boys as well. My prayer for you today is that you not grow weary in well doing; the toil IS making a difference.
Andria
Wow! Some good food for thought. Really good for my husband and I to ponder on as we expect our first child. We talk often about how we will strive to bring our children up in the Truth…. but see the challenge in it as well. We will definitely continue to be plugged in to Focus on the Family and read this blog!!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today! Thank you for staying true to your call of God!
And Jesus didn’t just talk. Most of our kids will not listen (and really who could blame them) if all we did was talk. We need to be walking in the light, just as Jesus did.
One of those,”Declare the gospel all the time, when necessary use words”
Kids will follow our examples as parents and teachers, whether we live by the words we preach, or not.
THANK YOU for taking the time to do the above project. I am a mother to 4 kids ages 1 to 8 and this has been our discussion numerous times. I was always told what to believe but not taught the “Why” do I believe. When I left for college, let me tell you, I was ill-prepared. We want to teach our children the why’s, to help make their relationship with their/our Creator intimate and personal. I look forward to the parenting series!
Del,
I was introduced to your blog through my sister, and she sent it, not doubting the value it would have to me.
I don’t usually feel compelled to comment but you have really struck a chord with me. We live in Alaska, our children are home schooled through a Christ centered DVD program and one of the things that we are still able to enjoy is their willingness to believe what we teach them. We also strive to help them understand both side, but make a clear distinction between what we believe to be right and wrong. At church, our children, particularly my son are known for discernment beyond their years. I don’t know that that comes from us, but they seem to be particularly willing to view things from God’s perspective. My earnest prayer is that it stays that way. I have seen the truth in your article first hand, in so many young people. thanks.
Because we are raising our great-granddaughter, after nearly 20 years of an empty nest, I know what you say about how this generation receives and processes information is correct. In fact, she repeatedly tells me that my information is outdated. So I am struggling with how to imprint my “outdated” information in a new and relevant way without her realizing that it is “outdated” information – which really isn’t outdated at all. It is very relevant, but only if she receives it. Thanks to our discovery of this website, and the Truth Project, I believe even more that there is a way, and we will find it.
Thanks.
The watermelon example was very good. When I learned to shoot, I was in the Army, and even the men in my platoon would have benefited from this example. Instead, when someone did something foolish with their weapon, the instructor would hit them on their helmet with the “safety” sign. It was a good example of cause and effect.
I really appreciate your efforts in the Truth Project. I had heard of it through the years, but had not experienced it until joining the group I’m now in.
I am astonished at how enlightening it is, and am more grateful than mere words can attest.
I don’t know you personally, but I love you greatly with the love of the Lord. I hope and pray that God keeps you around for a looong time.
God bless you, Del!
Del ~ Am I allowed to say “I Love You”. You have a winning combination of brilliance and “an every day Joeism”, this makes you so relateable.
My young sons love the Truth Project and we have used it as a witness to many non-believer’s. Thank you so much for walking in the gifts our Father has given you!
Great topic!
I have eight grandchildren and I am very concerned about the world they are growing up in. I pray for them each day. Thank you Del for what you are doing to expose the lies we face in our culture.
What a wonderful example! It helps me get it set in my mind. Partly because I love shooting my 22. Now to figure out (with God’s help) how to apply it to certain situations with my children.