Thanksgiving Thoughts & Response to Charley
Posted on November 28, 2007
Filed Under Personal, Worldview |
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My responsibility on Thanksgiving Day is to do battle with a 20-pound turkey. My objective is to get it properly balanced on our old Farberware rotisserie. This is not an easy task. Getting the metal spit to align with the turkey’s center of gravity is practically impossible. One side always ends up being too heavy & my
poor little rotisserie motor groans to rotate that weight to the top. Because I don’t want the motor to burn out and leave us with a half-cooked turkey, I solve this with a counter-balancing labyrinth of C-clamps. As you can see, it took six clamps to balance this year’s turkey. My daughter’s miniature dachshund thought it was an alien monster and wouldn’t stop barking at it.
However, it worked quite well and 6 hours later we feasted on a delicious turkey.
All of our family couldn’t make it this year, but I am thankful that my dad and our two sons were able to 
join us. We also had nine students that were away from home and so it was our privilege to provide a Thanksgiving home for them.
I realize that there are many who are not that fortunate. There are those who didn’t have a happy Thanksgiving this year. Some are serving their country in far away lands, not knowing if they will ever return. Some are alone by choice, others alone because of circumstances beyond their control. Some are experiencing deep estrangement in their families…for many different reasons. Some are in prisons. Some
are in ill health. Some have jobs that have taken them away from their families. Some have no families.
For those of us that do, however, it should be our privilege to open up our home to those who find themselves without a family to celebrate this great day of thanksgiving. We thoroughly enjoyed our day.
Which brings me to my response to Charley’s letter:
“Dr. Tackett,
I think you should know the effect your Truth Project and your material on ID/Evolution have had on my family. I have a degree in Biology and find Evolutionary Theory to be on solid scientific ground, unlike ID. My father-in-law has been through your program and has pestered my wife and I to show your videos to my three children, which we have refused. This is how he found out about my un-Christian views and those of my wife. He has reacted by ostracizing our family and ceasing to even acknowledge my existence.
My only wish is for my family members to be left to their own views. I respect the right of everyone to think for themselves, including my father-in-law. You teach, however, that there is only one source of knowledge, that tolerance is bad, that thinking for yourself is bad, that those who do not share your esteem for the Bible are possessed by the devil and going to hell. No wonder he feels so strongly.
I see no way of healing this rift. Frankly, I find your teachings to be nonsense, and can’t imagine changing my mind…The problem is that people like you and Dr. Dobson have taught him and others to close their minds to those who disagree as unworthy and threatening. I believe you are harming more families than you are helping. I hold you directly responsible in large measure for driving a wedge between my family and their grandparents.
I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. Thanks to you and others like you we will probably have one less family gathering this year.
Charley”
First of all, let me tell you that I am deeply sorry that a rift such as you have described has arisen. Family conflicts are among the most hurtful and I can understand your frustration and anger. I pray that you will someday see reconciliation between you and your father-in-law. I do not teach the things you accuse nor do I view those who disagree as unworthy. In fact, I teach the very opposite and believe that our interface with those who are in opposition is to be one marked by wisdom, grace and gentleness. If your father-in-law has indeed ostracized you and your family and has ceased to acknowledge your existence, then I would plead with him to do otherwise.
Thank you for taking the time to write under difficult circumstances. I sincerely hope and pray that you will find a way to live at peace with your father-in-law, though you may disagree. Hatred and bitterness will only destroy you both in the end. Your children need their grand-father and he needs them. If, as you write, this rift is primarily coming from him, then gently ask him for his biblical basis for ceasing to acknowledge you and your family’s existence. That should at least cause him to raise his eyebrows! Smile when you ask it and, who knows, maybe that will be the beginning of the thaw. I have been, and will continue to pray for you.
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9 Responses to “Thanksgiving Thoughts & Response to Charley”
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Dr. Del Tackett is president of the Focus on the Family Institute and Senior Vice President to Focus on the Family. He is also the architect and chief spokesperson for Focus on the Family's The Truth Project--a nationwide initiative designed to bring the Christian worldview to the body of Christ.
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Regarding the letter from Charley, I am flabbergasted (is that a word?) that anyone who has viewed the Truth Project DVDs could respond in the way that Charley attributes to his father-in-law. I suppose there are those who, no matter what they see or hear, receive it in a way that supports their own prejudices.
My heart goes out to Charley and his family. I will join you in praying for them.
Isn’t it amazing how so many in our culture have such a negative view of Christians? Of course, there are some examples, many of them nationally known media figures, who unfortunately give weight to a negative view of Christians and Christianity.
I have been impressed for some time now with the love of God. I understand that we are to be in awe of Him, but I also understand that He is our Father, our Papa, and for those who have or had a loving earthly father, this can only lead us to recognize God as a loving heavenly Father.
As we enter this season, wherein we celebrate the graeatest Gift ever given, God’s own precious Son, I pray that Charley, his father-in-law, their families, and indeed all the families of the earth will once again realize the great love with which He has loved us. And may we, as Christians, be real, living conduits of that love to a lost and dying world.
Yes, the world needs to know that sin separates from God, but they must also know that “there is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.”
Perhaps the children’s choruses say it best:
“Praise Him, praise Him, all ye little children,
God is love, God is love!”
“Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.”
Let’s go tell the world!
Wow. Why are most (if not all) of your students women? Sad to say, this is often the truth in church also. Nevertheless, that letter really saddened me. Regardless of difference of belief, faith, or what not, we should strive to spend time together and love one another as Christ loved us. Hey, he spent most of his time eating with sinners. Why shouldn’t we. After all we are sinners ourselves. I hope he finds reconciliation with his dad and that the love for each other is deeper than any theological or scientific argument.
Dr. Tackett,
In response to Charlie’s letter, I would like to share with you the effect your efforts have had on my life and those around me. The Truth Project has literally changed my life. I first watched it about a year and a half ago at a local church. I have been going to church and Christian schools all my life but it opened my eyes to many things I hadn’t previously considered. Since that time, I’ve done lots of reading and watching and discussing and I’ve found that I have a passion for the topic of truth and therefore for the Bible.
I teach at a small Lutheran High School in Wisconsin and I’ve been able to address many Truth Project topics with my classes. In fact, I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to teach a Truth Project centered class for our senior theology classes next semester.
Many friends and relatives that I’ve shared the info with have been excited as well. My wife and I spent Thanksgiving at my uncle’s house and I was able to show him Lesson 1. He couldn’t get enough! He’s planning on attending the training session in Chicago in May but he’s disappointed that he’ll have to wait 7 months for more. I can’t thank you enough for the work that you’ve put into this mission. I know that you know that the Lord has truly blessed you.
About Charlie’s letter, I share your sorrow for that family and I would invite Charlie to watch the lessons before commenting on what you teach. You, nor the Bible teach shunning those of different beliefs. Unfortunately this is often the view of Christianity seen by unbelievers and more unfortunate is the fact that sometimes Christians truly act this way. DC Talk uses a quote from Brennan Manning on their Jesus Freak album:
“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”
This is so true! As long as Christians don’t follow the Bible in their interactions with others, others won’t see Christ for who He is. Christianity has to be a worldview and a lifestyle or else it’s just an activity like playing basketball once a week, etc.
Thank you again for your work through the Truth Project and may God bless your day!
In Him,
David Pratt
Dear Charlie,
If the facts are as you present them, and I have no doubt that you’re telling your side of the story truthfully and accurately, then your father-in-law is not following true Christian principles in his behavior. I don’t know how much reading you’ve done on Dr. Tackett’s Truth Project (this) blog, but there’s a recent series dealing with perfection and our pursuit of it. As Christians we seek to emulate Jesus in all ways “humanly” possible. The problem is in the “human” part of the equation. Christ was wholly human and our Holy God all at the same time. In Him perfection lived, breathed, and walked, in our highly imperfect world. I digress a bit here only because I want to make it very clear to you that I’m not judging you or your father-in-law!
The following does not justify your father-in-law’s actions, but perhaps these considerations might help you (as a non-believer?) understand a bit better where he’s coming from.
He’s frightened! He’s terrified for his grandchildren! And if this proves anything it proves that he loves them very much! As Christians we know “The Way” to an eternal life with God is ONLY through Faith in his Son and His purpose. Although I’m not sure that Darwin intentionally tried to discredit God (the Creator of all things) with his research and findings (I’ll not judge him either); the theory of Darwinian Evolution has become the foundation of the secular world and its passion to separate itself from its Creator! There is comfort in the denial of God’s existence. It is a false comfort though because God has given us the only real comfort and Truth in His Word. Your father-in-law sees his grandchildren being “indoctrinated” by what he and all Christians recognize as a lie meant to separate humanity from its Creator. Have I lost you yet? I hope not! I’m not trying to evangelize you. I just want to give you a different perspective on how a flawed but loving Christian grandfather might behave if he believed his beloved grandchildren were at risk…
Did you and your wife watch the videos in question? If you did or eventually do, you’ll find many things that are uncomfortable for you. I remember the feeling well. The “intolerance” you mention in your note to Dr. Tackett is not man-made. There are clear guidelines in the Bible that are intolerant of variation because there can only be One Truth.
There will be many more entries or responses to this subject in Dr. Del’s blog. Most will be much more worthy of your consideration. I have but one request of you though… Please consider printing all the responses to this blog entry and taking them to your father-in-law. Offer them in a respectful and peaceful manner so that he might have a chance to reflect on his behavior and the brotherly reaction of other Christians to your dilemma. Hopefully you can find a middle ground so that the children will enjoy the fullness of family this Christmas season.
I join Dr. Tackett in praying for your situation to improve and for understanding to prevail.
God’s blessings to you and your entire family Charlie!
It’s very easy to sense the hurt and anger in Charlie’s letter. I don’t know what he hoped to accomplish by writing to you, but it certainly gives us all some insight. He says a couple of things that seem to have become staples in the bashing of a Christian worldview. We are said to be intolerant and close minded. We are all pictured as mindless drones, blindly accepting anything we are taught. Even Charlie seems to have fallen back on a few phrases that he must have picked up on from media and others who share his opinions. We need to be living examples of a God’s kindness and love so that these types of unfounded comments fall on deaf ears.
I have worked many jobs while in the ministry and it has been my privilege to work among many unbelievers. Most are like Charlie, but even they have been very open to prayer and conversations about the Bible. I worked at one office with well educated people who all seemed to have a clearly defined worldview. Few of them had a Biblical one. They were still open to conversation and as relationships were built, I had the chance to answer a lot of important questions. What an opportunity!
Learning good apologetics is not about outwitting people. We have to love them, pray for them and befriend them, even if we don’t agree with them. When trust is established and ridiculous ideas like the ones mentioned in the letter are exposed as lies, we can intelligently answer even the toughest questions and maybe even lead a person to Christ. My point is that even in our search for better apologetics we need to remember Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” I don’t know how Charlie’s father has treated him. It may have been dramatically overstated in this letter. But we really need to understand that the root issue for Christians is that people come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This happens as we express His love to our friends, family and coworkers. 2 Cor. 5:18 “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
Let’s pray for reconciliation.
Thanksgiving is my family’s favorite time because we can just enjoy one another without having to worry about gifts. I had 34 for lunch, two guests, and then had 27 stay over until Friday. love it love it. Sadly though I have a daughter who for whatever reason after going to school in the Northwest has rejected everything she knew and loved about God and Jesus and has asked that we not mention it to her again. She is in her 30’s now. We have honored her request but have NOT stopped constantly praying for her and we have not ostracized her from our family and left her alone. I cannot imagine how this father in law did this to his son in law and daughter. As the Christian he should be the one to ask forgiveness and heal the relationship and accept his children where they are as God does. Only God can change a heart, we can pray for them and follow God’s lead when and how to speak to them but not push it down their throats. Godly wisdom, and example speak volumes. Just as David in his comment said if we don’t live like a follower of Christ how can we say we love Jesus. I ask your readers to pray for my daughter, that she will return to the Truth. Unfortunately she has seen non believers act more loving and kind than believers and they convinced her their way was better. She loves us though and enjoys our family so that is a blessing. Raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is my hope in God’s unchanging word. Thank you for your ministry and your faithfulness. God bless,
Dear Dr Tackett,
I am just writing to comment on how happy I am that you did the Truth Project!
My mother, (a new ager) has always loved the Christian Heritage of America, and prayer in the school.
So over the years those have been hot buttons for her.
I had a chance to have her see lession 10 and she loved it! Now she wants to view all 12. I pray it will lead her to put the Bible first in all teachings.
I praise God, and thank God for your diligent work on this effort.
I would like to be a leader and help promote this wonderful teaching in the hope that we will see a Revival in this country and God will heal our land.
God Bless your lovely response to Charley, I sincerely hope he takes your advice and asks his father-in-law “where in the Bible” it says he should treat his son-in-law in this manner.
I do hope I can take that advice as well in all of my relationships, and remember my responsibility to God in all of my “spheres”.
Thank you, and God Bless you,
Marcie
I couldn’t agree more with Eric Fisher’s comments.
Dr.Tackett-
Thank you for your Godly response to Charley’s letter. Thank you for the example you are providing in this exchange on how to relate to people “outside” the faith.
Charley-
Please know that I hear your heart and am praying for you and your family relations as well as many others. Thank you for sharing your concerns.
Debbie